So next Monday is Valentine’s Day.

My son has been diligently searching for the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for his girlfriend of two years. My husband, married to me for ten years and traveling constantly for work right now, probably doesn’t even realize that it is February.

This got me wondering if there is some recognized Valentine’s Day Gift Guide, like the Wedding Anniversary Gift Guide, which could help guys out.

I turned to my trusty friend, Google, to see if such a guide existed. Despite searches using various word combos and sequences, I could not find any such resource which led me to decide that such a guide needed to be written. Saves the guys some stress. So, this one is for you, gentlemen …

Dating Casually (for less than one year): Your call on this one, guys. A casual dinner would be a nice gesture, but if you’ve been dating a year and haven’t made things exclusive yet, she’s probably not counting on anything anyway. In fact, she probably already has plans with someone else.

Dating Exclusively (1-3 years): Know your lady for this stage of your relationship. Unless you’ve had a specific conversation that ended in mutual agreement that Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark holiday, she’s counting on a gift. And unless she likes freshcut flowers and chocolates, don’t take a cop out and get the standard gift which requires zero personal thought whatsoever. Know your lady! Get your gal something that tells her that you notice her preferences. If she likes fresh-cut flowers, don’t go for roses (unless she loves them), go for her favorite flower.

Dating Exclusively (4+ years): There is only one thing your lady (and her momma for that matter) wants for Valentine’s Day. It’s time to put a ring on it, fella. The good news is there are usually some fantastic sales this time of year.

Married (1-5 years): This stage of your relationship also requires knowledge of where your beloved stands on the holiday. First home, possible discussions about family planning, so many financial steps in these first few years. Don’t blow the budget on a pricey gift because the store ads have convinced you that she won’t feel loved without an extravagant gesture.

Married (5-10 years): By this stage of your relationship, children have likely entered the equation. You know what your wife wants for Valentine’s Day? She wants to take a shower uninterrupted. If you have any notion that it would be romantic to take a couple’s shower with a candle burning and some music playing, smack yourself upside the back of the head. She wants to shower alone, and she doesn’t want to hear a kid crying or yelling “Mom” while she is in there. Other ideas for this stage in life include having her car detailed (no one likes to drive around smelling threeweek-old french fries and she’s never going to have the time to do it herself) or making reservations for lunch or dinner … for her and her friends or mom.

Married (8-20 years): If you are lucky, you might see each other on Valentine’s Day. By now, your kids are living their best lives with you and your spouse serving as their main chauffeurs. If you aren’t driving them somewhere, you are likely sitting in the bleachers or an auditorium playing your role of your child’s greatest fan. Your wife likely isn’t looking for anything fancy this time. If your kids are teens, she would probably love a dinner at home with all the family around the table … take out, of course, because it isn’t a gift if she must cook the meal. If she’s worried about aging, then something that reminds her how beautiful she remains to you will be very uplifting for her. Books, family photo sessions, or simply driving with her and sitting in the car for the 90-minute baseball practice sharing some ice cream might be enough. If your marriage has lasted this long then she loves you and you don’t have to break the bank to impress, but it wouldn’t hurt to remind her that you’re glad she’s your forever Valentine.

Married (20+ years): At this stage of your relationship, she has everything you could think to buy her, your kids are gone, and the budget isn’t as tight. You’re right back to where you started when I say know your lady. If you haven’t bought her flowers in years and she likes flowers, bring them home. If she’s practical like me, bring home a plant or a gift card for plants for the garden. If it matters to her, jewelry is never a bad idea. Depending on how life has gone, she might just like to go for a walk holding hands again.

Regardless of where you are at in your relationship, I strongly believe you can never go wrong with margaritas, helping with laundry, or offering a back massage with no strings attached. Aside from that, there isn’t a one size fits all guide to make this simple, but I hope this gives you something to think about, guys.

For those of you wondering, at Gordon Manor we will celebrate with my allowing the hubs to sleep uninterrupted (meaning I won’t kick him when he starts snoring) and the hubs pretending not to care that we are eating frozen pizza twice in one week for dinner. Who said romance is dead?